Speechless

i am speechless..u left me speechless...i leave u speechless...we both speechless

FEBRUARI 2011

a lot of things happened and change lately..
i am hurt badly..
cant even stand a single day without crying..



i can say it a kind of agony..
but AGONY is just to bad to describe the torment

this excruciation has brought me somehow to weeks of crying..
while driving..and even after parking my car..at home when i was alone..
after stopping the car engine..
it took me 3 min to give a break and crying myself out
it is not a self pity..
but it is pain
painful
really painful

that make me feel like nk guling2 atas jalan..heks

well, anyway..i took my car from workshop
850ringgit..nk pitam ok
ij paid it already but then i payback to him..
cos i feel not comfortable letting him paying all of the bilL
then using my mom`s money and mine a bit..i give him 600
My bestie aka besfren forever, came over from Jitra


She is studying in JCU, queensland, aussie

she is doing medicine too
1st year freshiee..,..hehhee
miss her damn much
she brings back all the laughters that lost in my crucifixion
she is my bestfren when i was in mrsm
never found someone like her
a girl who is so honest with me
a person who i can bitch about
who can bitch me back
i only allow her to mencarut2 at me
others,..not so2 la..
even a fren say `weh` pon i already feel embittered
i love her so much
5 days together seem to be really short
full of joke
she dislike ij so much..hahaha
even dare to curse about ij in front of me
hehehe..jebon kan fathul ni

we went to sunway.SHOPPING..
even timesquare

we went to KAMAL eventhough both of us dont know where on the earth it is
as luck would have it, we found SYARIKAT KAMAL
hehe..fathul pon beli la buku2 medik dy
ak tgok2 stetoscope
tp kedekutnye pasal..yg harga 40rggt pon xbeli
malas nk beli..haha
tp ak rasa nk beli yg ade button tedi bear..mcm kiut je..hehe
satg p spital..patient igt ak doktot main2 pulak..kih3x

selagi ak xmasuk pektikel kt spital..selagi tu ak xbeli..haha
nk beli pon beli yg murah je..syg duet..haha
tp duet beli baju bole pulak,..hehe
keji kan..
FATHUL ISLAM,,...IF ONLY U READ MY BLOG..
I WANT TO SAY THAT U CHANGE MY SORROWFUL DAYS INTO BLISSFULL DAYS
..i am just a bestfren who is fully happy happy and feel contented with u by myside..
meeting u reminds me who i am..
how much i love u and all the moment we had together
u r my besfren forever..hehe

we start talking about how diligent, and high spirited both us of studying so hard to get straight A`s in spm
yes..seriuosly..
we study together troughout the year of taking spm..
when i asleep she will awaken  me..so do i
we tried to imagine ourself taking degree together..
it must be a lot of glory and fun
she bring the best in me..and same goes to me..
but..destiny has brought us apart..i have learn to live without her..
i will study hard so i can be her colleague then..hehe

well she gain weight..i noticed it and start calling her gumuk..haha
padahal i am fat too now..OBESITY PROBLEM

hope both of us to have this kind of body..haha
nk kena tukar cita2..nk jadi model la..
klu aim jd model..sure kna kurus..n usaha jd kurus.,..kah3x

ak aim nk jd sebesar pompuan dlm gbr ni..cantik kan..kurus,,.tgi..hot
bfr berpisah..we make a promise..of reducing weight...
next year when we meet again..i want to be thin back like the old time
she also want to be thin
`org lain makin besar,jaga badan n makin kurus, knapa kita berdua makin besar, makin gemuk.`
hehe..sebab kita suka makan n ade duet kot..tu lak jwpn ak.heheh
now..since she has go back to bandar darulaman..
i start really miss her.

start being lonely..and sorrow..and crying..

hope to meet her again in klia this 21februari
she is taking off back to aussie..


neway..ak nk rumah mcm ni bole??tuan rumah ni nama mira jugak
sm mcm nama ak..heks..

Contest Sy Suka Bt Peace~Peace Dalam POndok Telepon~

Jangan memain..bersabung nyawa nk angkat peace dlm pondok tipon~

actually contest ni ak baca kt fadz nye blog,,

http://fadzforfun.blogspot.com/

ak agak suke baca2 ape yg dy repek2..bes..haha

hilang rindu kek adik di kg

pastu tetengok dy join contest..

ni xjadi nih..nk kna join gak,..

gilo psko excited nk join..kih3x

ni gbr kengkawan foundation time g genting~

memory daun pisangs~

anyway sesapa nk  join sila ke blog fara

http://babyglarothic.blogspot.com/2010/12/fara-first-giveaway.html

ade la pasal syarat contest tu n mcm ne nk joinnye~

xpon bole je klik kat banner sebelah tu..

5 makhluk ak nk tagged untuk contest ni:

aten: http://angelofastar.blogspot.com/

kak aina: http://aina-ainaa-aina.blogspot.com/

lina: http://www.leenaspeakout.blogspot.com/

zue anak sudin: http://zulaikha1405.blogspot.com/

wawa: http://najihahiman.blogspot.com/

neway i miss my ex house8..

bile jauh..br sedar..

dh terpisah..

sebumbung uni..

tp xtserempak..

Thanks 4 Acting Like U Care

Suddenly u r just a stranger for me..
i barely know u after years knowing you..
Cheater!!!
Thats YOU!!


I hate you now..
No mercy for you..
I wont wager with u anymore..
So i am saying good bye for my own sake and pride..
Buhbye Dear..

And i want you to know that my heart still beating..
I wont drop to the ground..or down to self pity..

I WILL SURVIVE!!!

I will change myself..
I will get a hair cut and let it grow..
Feel Good!!!

Angan-angan nk P Jalan2

Bnyk sgt angan2 nk p jalan2 recently..
too much..too many people ngajak jalan2..uhuks~...
tp paling best time berangan n kak aina ptg ni time slowjog kt tasek sek 7, shh alam..
berangan sikit bes nk p london...





last2 melilau punya melilau nk p BALI..hahha

guess what.,..
too many things come cross our purple mind,,,,hehe
so many things that u arent able to do here..
can be done there,...uhuks~

27hb3..ij nk p umrah...
ak rasa keji sikit2
beria order air zam2 n jubah
nge~
supposely org nk p beribadat
so jgn la order brg..
dy bukan nk p shopping Amira
bulan 4 berangan nk p bandung...hoho...

angan2 nk p berjalan2 bagai mcm ak ni xdak kja kan..
padahal student weyh
STUDY FIRST
my job now is study..
so i need to do best in my study..
it is my job..
hoho....sabar je ann...
ak suke main2..
bahaye2

tHiS I LoVe~

actually smbil2 study.,.
terasa nk dgr lagu this i love...
ak sgt2 sukekan gun n roses..
tp since ak meluat n faiz..
faiz pulak suke gnr..
mmg ak jd malas nk dgr..
nti ak tgat btapa meluat ak kt faiz..haha
neway ak plan pas exam nk g karok kt ampang park ke amp ke
nk bantai lagu ni..jgn memain..ahahahha
biar jewang berkarat xkesah dah..



And now I don’t know why
She wouldn’t say goodbye
But then it seems that I
Had seen it in her eyes
And it might not be wise
I’d still have to try
With all the love I have inside
I can’t deny
I just can’t let it die
Cause her heart’s just like mine
And she holds her pain inside
So if you ask me why
She wouldn’t say goodbye
I know somewhere inside
There is a special light
Still shining bright
And even on the darkest night
She can’t deny
GNR Lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com
So if she’s somewhere near me
I hope to God she hears me
There’s no one else could ever make me feel
I’m so alive
I hoped she’d never leave me
Please God you must believe me
I’ve searched the universe and found myself
Within’ her eyes
No matter how I try
They say it’s all a lie
So what’s the use of my
Confessions to a crime
Of passions that won’t die
In my heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart
So if she’s somewhere near me
I hope to God she hears me
There’s no one else could ever make me feel
I’m so alive
I hoped she’d never leave me
Please God you must believe me
I’ve searched the universe and found myself
Within’ her eyes
Guitar Solo
So if she’s somewhere near me
I hope to God she hears me
There’s no one else could ever make me feel
I’m so alive
I hoped she’d never leave me
Please God you must believe me
I’ve searched the universe and found myself
Within’ her eyes
And now I don’t know why
She wouldn’t say goodbye
It just might be that I
Had seen it in her eyes
And now it seems that I
Gave up my ghost of pride
I’ll never say goodbye aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeye

AK SURF TENET SEKALI T`JPE..MAK AI.. NILAH KISAHNYE:

Aku nih cuma nak tanya pendapat korang laaa.. Betul ke idak tindakan aku nih....

Macam nih la kisahnya.....

Aku dah kawin awal tahun 2004... dan kami dikurniakan satu cahaya mata fomfuan yang skang nih dah berusia 1 tahun 4 bulan .... Isteri aku pulak seorang doktor anaesthsia ( bius ) di HUSM . perkahwinan kitaorang memang atas dasar suka sama suka.....
So.. bila dah jadik doktor tuh kerja tak tentu masa apatah lagi kadang kadang isteri aku terpaksa on call di Accident And Emergency Unit ... Nak tak nak aku terpaksa telan hakikat bahawa tugasan tuh menuntut isteri aku macam tuh ... Kadang kadang frust jugak aku bila isteri tak balik rumah 2 hari emergency case punya pasal.... Ye laa.. sebagai lelaki normal, tentulah rasa bosan bila isteri takder di rumah ... Nasib baiklah mak aku tinggal sebumbung dengan aku....
Anak aku tuh Fina , aku terasa macam tak dapat kasih sayang yang sepatutnya dari umminya ... Dalam usia macam tuh dia selalu di tinggalkan.... Tapi apapun isteri aku tetap menyusukan anaknya bila ada peluang bercuti.... Skang nih Fina tinggal dengan mak aku.... Nasib baik aku bekalkan mak aku KACIP FATIMAH power root... LArat jugaklah mak aku menjaga anak aku yang nakal nih.... Kadang kadang aku bawak anak aku sekali pergi kerja.... Mujurlah syarikat sendiri....Kalau tak.. jangan harap la boleh bawak budak kat opis... Bab berak kencing , aku suh staf aku uruskan....HAhahahhaha....
Nak dijadikanlah cerita.... Ye la... bila isteri takder kat rumah.... aku bawak la anak aku jenjalan petang petang.. terutama sekali kat KB MALL... kat situ ada playground... Anak aku suka melompat lompat kat situ ....
Lepas main tuh... aku dgn anak aku pi la Mc Donald kat bawah tuh... Anak aku makan sundae....Aku pulak minum nescafe ....
Tiba tiba aku di tegur oleh si gadis manis...
"Cutenya....." dicubitnya pipi anak aku..
" Anak abang ke nih "
"A`a"
"Mummynya mana?"
"Kejer "
"Boleh kitaorang dok sini "
Kalau dengar bunyi percakapannya.. aku yakin dia bukan orang Kelate...

Aku perkenalkan namanya Sue..... Budak last sem Cosmo KOta Bharu..... Umur 25 tahun..... Amik kos IT di sini .... Dia bersama seorang kawannya...

Didukungnya anak aku... di main.. di cubit... di belanja lagi eskrem anak aku... nampak macam begitu mesra sekali dan anak aku macam boleh terima dia..Sedangkan dengan isteri aku sendiri pun tak semesra macam tuh....

Sue menyatakan hasrat nak jadi adik angkat aku. ..... Aku setuju....

hasrat sue nih aku nyatakan pada isteri aku....
" ALahhh.. adik angkat ajer" Takper" kata isteri aku...

Sue selalu antar msg....tanya khabar kami sekeluarga...

Suatu hari isteri aku mengajak Sue makan tengahri di rumah...
"Nak kenal adik angkat abang" katanya.....

Selepas pada tuh...... setiap kali isteri aku pi kerja.... aku berjumpa dengannya kat Kota Bharu... Kadang kadang pi Bachok mandi laut...
Lama Lama... timbul perasaan semacam jer pada si Sue nih.....
Dia macam memahami aku.....
Dalam masa 10 bulan... aku beranikan diri melamar dia...
Tentulah terkejut beruk Sue nih.....Memang aku serius nak melamar dia....
Sue katakan dia malu dengan isteri aku.....Dia tak kisah jadi isteri kedua pun....

Suatu hari aku nyatakanlah isteri aku yang aku nak kawin dengan Sue...

Aicehhh....3 hari tak tegur aku langsung......
3 hari tuh time tidur dia hadap sebelah sana... aku hadap sebelah sini....

Lepas pada hari tuh... aku terangkanlah betul betul pada dia kenapa aku nak kawin dengan Sue... Bukan kerana kelemahan isteri aku.... Cuma aku sayangkan SUe....

Isteri aku....sesibuk mana pun dia... hal rumahtangga tetap dia amik peduli.. Hari cuti dia akan uruskan rumahtangga.... Balik kerja pun dia tetap masak untuk aku... Kadang kadang dia belikan lauk.... Mak pun selalu tolong isteri aku masak....

Mak tak kata apapun bila aku nak kawin ngan Sue.... Lagipun time aku bawak Sue ke rumah... mak macam gembira dengan kedatangannnya...

Akhirnya kami berkawin pada bulan 7 hari tuh....Mak Bapak sue dari Gombak... Kg Sg Pusu...datang ke rumah aku..... Buat majlis kesyukuran aje...Dapat green light dari isteri pertama

Sue ngan Wife aku tinggal serumah...sekali ngan mak aku....
Sue aku suh dia berhenti kerja....
ISteri pertama tetap ngan kerjanya...
Aku tgk ok jer hubungan diaorang.. Mak pun ok...

TAPI MASALAHNYA SEKARANG....
Aku terasa macam wife aku nih macam nak menjauhkan diri je dari aku skang nih... Kalau aku call dia kat opis... Langsung dia tak angkat.... Balik umah jer... mandi.. solat.. pastu tido... langsung tak mau bercakap ngan aku.... Dengan anak kecik aku tuh macam malas je nak layan... Tuh yang aku perasan seminggu dua nih....
Nak kata aku tak adil pada wife aku tuh... tak mungkin....Dia dapat lebih dari Sue...Nak kata aku marahkan dia... tak pulak....
Skang nih pun dia jarang on call.. Letih katanya.... Aku tgk pun dia macam tak sihat... DIa marah aku bila aku ajak pi klinik...Bila sepatutnya kitaorang BERSAMA dia bagi alasan letih......
Entahlah... apa kene ngan isteri aku seminggu dua nih... Yang aku pelik lagi memelikkan... dia pergi kerja ngan BAS....... selama nih tak pernah naik BAS.. tetiba jer pi balik kejer naik BAS....
Walaupun macam tuh.... sarapan pagi aku tetap dia buatkan..... NESCAFE dia buat memang DA BOMB......
Korang rasa la kan... apa kene ngan isteri aku tuh....

Maaf lah bercerita panjang...... 

NEWAY KLU JD KAT KITA LA KAN..
XLEH BAYANG LA
COS AK NK SHARE BEG KE KASUT AK PON XSANGGUP
JGN BAYANG BENDA LAIN LA
BYG ORG NK SHARE KETE KO
PAKAI BAGAI DY PUNYA PULAK
PANAS2
LGPON AK XDE ADIK POMPUAN
BRG2 AK XDA NK KNA PAU
AK PON XNK ADA ADIK2 POMPUAN NI..HAHA